By Barbara Victor, Director, Clinical Services

Every day in our schools and communities, children are teased, threatened, or tormented by bullies.The messages exchanged between children and their caregivers in just 15 minutes or more a day can be instrumental in building a healthier and safer environment for children. If you suspect your child is being bullied, here are ten things a parent can do to help.

1. Make sure your child knows being bullied is not his/her fault and let your child know that he/she does not have to face being bullied alone.
2. Discuss ways of responding to bullies.
3. Teach your child to be assertive.
4. Tell your child not to react, but to walk away and get help.
5. Tell your child to report bullying immediately to a trusted adult.
6. Contact the school/teacher.
7. Don’t ask children to solve a bullying problem between themselves – because of the differences in power, the child who has been bullied will suffer further. Bullying problems require adult intervention.
8. Don’t advise the bullied child to fight the bully – fighting is in violation of the school conduct code and the child might be seriously injured.
9. Don’t try to mediate a bullying situation. Bringing together children who are bullied and those who do the bullying, to “work out” the problems between them, generally is not a good idea. It may further victimize a child who is being bullied and it sends the wrong message to both parties.
10. Don’t blame either the victim or the bully. Instead, gather as much information as possible. Look at your own child’s behaviour and style of interaction and consider how you might help him/her to handle these types of situations in the future. Contact the school for assistance.